Whither the Anti Bride

I am supposed to be planning a wedding. My wedding. My wedding between myself and my wonderful future husband, who I love very much.

And let me tell you something: it just doesn't seem like it's going to happen.

Thus the blog.

It's going to be a little bit diary, a little bit bitch session and a whole lot of what the hell am I doing.

This kind of started with the book The Anti-Bride Guide. (This being the wedding industry there's also an Anti-Bride planner and etiquette guide.) It was the one book in the wedding planning section that was some horrible pastel color. It was funny and the writers seemed smart. It was about ditching the expectations of society and other and having the wedding you wanted. I was like, yeah, I'm totally an anti-bride!

Then they suggested wearing a tiara at your wedding.

And I was like, who ARE these people? Tiara's are for girls who think they are princesses. And women who actually are royalty. They are for prom queens and beauty queens. The represent all sorts of stuff: the aristocracy, of putting one person above another. Tiaras scream: Disney Princess dress-up kit for ages 3-8! Not: Adult woman looking to begin companionate marriage with a celebration that includes friends and family!

And I realized I was more anti-bride than the anti-bride guide.

But as willing as I am to cast of the shackles of society expectations and go around quoting Mary Wollstonecraft, I still want a wedding. I am torn. I am Dr. Jekyll and Ms. Anti-Bride.

So, can I possibly plan a wedding if I'm the anti-bride? Will I cede planning to my girlier friends? Or my mother? Will I break down and just go to the courthouse like my future husband suggests everytime I mention that we need to talk to his mother?

I really have no frickin' clue.

So stay tuned readers! This is definitely going to be a bumpy ride.